If you feel that your marriage is heading for the divorce courts and you are desperately searching for ways to save it. Don't panic, many couples have saved their marriages, as long as both of you realize that there are problems and are willing to sit down and discussed in a rational manner. Try to figure out where things went wrong and agree that you have to put a lot of effort into rebuilding your marriage.
There are things that you can do to correct your problems and stop your divorce:
1. Make an appointment with a marriage counselor and let them help you iron out your differences. Counselors are trained in how to help people deal with conflicts such as infidelity, depression and any other issues that you might have that are tearing your marriage apart. If you are not able to afford a marriage counselor, then search out marriage counselors in your church, a lot of times they will donate their time so they can help couples selvage their marriage.
2. If you really want to stop your divorce then listen to your marriage counselor don't take everything to personally. Try and listen to your spouses side also and don't jump to conclusions. Don't get your feelings hurt to easily when you don't agree what is discussed, your counselor is trying to bring out both of your views out in the open and is trying to find a solution to your problems. Being honest and listening to what your spouse is saying might help your spouse to listen to you also.
3. To stop your divorce before your attorney gets involved, you must keep your cool. Don't argue with your spouse, you are not getting anything resolved at this point any way, and if you continue arguing it might just make the situation worse. Don't force your opinions on him to change his mind about the divorce, at this point he is pretty angry and you are just making things worse. The more you try to point out what went wrong the more he will try to defend himself.
4. Finally you must get yourself prepared mentally that as much as you might want this marriage to be saved, it might be just to late. Being honest and realistic about your marriage situation will help you better cope with the whole divorce thing.
Your marriage will have a chance to survive only when you and your spouse are willing to work on it, so do all you can to stop your divorce.
Best Of Luck,
Jeanette Fitzgerald
http://www.makinguptips.org
Saturday
Doctor Phil Relationship Remedy Relationship Rescue Review
With Relationship Rescue, Philip McGraw has done a great amount of work to try and help people put their lives back together after things have fallen apart. This is no different from anything else that he has done on television with his show that brings in people who are in the middle of family crisis. If there are problems that people are having, he will help them find a way to sole it themselves.
While it might be better to have Dr. Phil right there with you to help you figure things out, his book, Relationship rescue, provides the next best thing. While it is always recommended to go seek counseling, it may not always be feasible. What makes many efforts to save relationships fail is that there is no action taken. Dr. Phil insists that if your relationship is to be saved, then both parties must work to save it. Any marriage counseling or relationship advice that anyone will give you will let you know that work is involved.
Phil McGraw's book gives people instructions that are very helpful but can be difficult because he challenges both parties in the love relationship to look inwardly and own up to their problems and work to fix them. He tells them that they need to work as hard to fix themselves as they expect their partner or spouse to work on theirs. Relationship Rescue says that even if you think that your significant other is the root of all the problems you must scrutinize yourself.
In Relationship Rescue, Dr. Phil asks readers to perform an self analysis regarding their feelings about the relationship. There are lists of questions that are categorized by topics like, "Relationship Health Profile," "Personal Concepts Profile," "The Relationship Behavior Profile: Your Partner," "The Relationship Behavior Profile: You." Just looking at those headings you know that it is going to require some serious work and thinking that will be well worth it once you see an improvement in not only your perceptions of the relationship, but in the relationship itself.
Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue also encourages people to change their perspective of the relationship form a negative one to a positive one. Most people make things out to be worse than they are. Changing one's viewpoint of the other in the love relationship may help them see that the problems may be as bad as first thought.
Dr. Phil, as always, gives common sense relationship advice that requires some hard thinking and some hard work. There are millions of people who have taken his advice that he gives in this book and seen dramatic improvements in their lives. If you don't have the patience or the time to read his Relationship Rescue book, there is an abridged audiobook available that makes the information easy to understand but also helps in that you get to listen to his sound advice in his own voice.
While it might be better to have Dr. Phil right there with you to help you figure things out, his book, Relationship rescue, provides the next best thing. While it is always recommended to go seek counseling, it may not always be feasible. What makes many efforts to save relationships fail is that there is no action taken. Dr. Phil insists that if your relationship is to be saved, then both parties must work to save it. Any marriage counseling or relationship advice that anyone will give you will let you know that work is involved.
Phil McGraw's book gives people instructions that are very helpful but can be difficult because he challenges both parties in the love relationship to look inwardly and own up to their problems and work to fix them. He tells them that they need to work as hard to fix themselves as they expect their partner or spouse to work on theirs. Relationship Rescue says that even if you think that your significant other is the root of all the problems you must scrutinize yourself.
In Relationship Rescue, Dr. Phil asks readers to perform an self analysis regarding their feelings about the relationship. There are lists of questions that are categorized by topics like, "Relationship Health Profile," "Personal Concepts Profile," "The Relationship Behavior Profile: Your Partner," "The Relationship Behavior Profile: You." Just looking at those headings you know that it is going to require some serious work and thinking that will be well worth it once you see an improvement in not only your perceptions of the relationship, but in the relationship itself.
Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue also encourages people to change their perspective of the relationship form a negative one to a positive one. Most people make things out to be worse than they are. Changing one's viewpoint of the other in the love relationship may help them see that the problems may be as bad as first thought.
Dr. Phil, as always, gives common sense relationship advice that requires some hard thinking and some hard work. There are millions of people who have taken his advice that he gives in this book and seen dramatic improvements in their lives. If you don't have the patience or the time to read his Relationship Rescue book, there is an abridged audiobook available that makes the information easy to understand but also helps in that you get to listen to his sound advice in his own voice.
Is Conflict In A Relationship Harder On Men
In trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology may help us understand why men and women react differently. If you are dating or in a marriage, there are going to be arguments from time to time. What can make things worse is if the two people's ways of dealing with conflict cause them to make things worse. Many marriages have turned to marriage counselors and those who aren't married will still seek out relationship advice. Most counseling will help you realize some things that may help each understand how the other party thinks.
There was a study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health which showed that most couples who had been together for only a couple of months between the ages of 18 and 21 avoidedintimacy and being dependent on their other half. They also showed levels of anxiety concerning being rejected or abandoned. Those tested all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. Of course those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels and others, depending on how they dealt with anxiety and thought about abandonment, reacted differently as well.
What was interesting in the testing was how differently the results were in both men and women. The ones researching relationship psychology using these subjects found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while only those women who are the more avoidant types showed any real changes.
Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve conflict in a relationship. Psychology shows them to be, in this situation, the ones actively working to get the situation resolved. While they were showing increased levels of cortisol before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly. They showed that getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying.
Men, however, showed to be more passive in conflict resolution. While there was evidence that they, too, wanted the conflict to be resolved they weren't anxious to confront the conflict head on. Those men who had female partners who were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. Women showed no change in their levels of anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.
When you seek out relationship advice, whether you go to family therapy or psychologists, they are going to try to help you understand how men and women react differently. The above research on studying the effects of conflict in men and women will help you know why the react the way that they do in the relationship. Psychology and physiological research will help you deal with conflict better.
Wishing You The Best,
Jeanette Fitzgerald
There was a study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health which showed that most couples who had been together for only a couple of months between the ages of 18 and 21 avoidedintimacy and being dependent on their other half. They also showed levels of anxiety concerning being rejected or abandoned. Those tested all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. Of course those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels and others, depending on how they dealt with anxiety and thought about abandonment, reacted differently as well.
What was interesting in the testing was how differently the results were in both men and women. The ones researching relationship psychology using these subjects found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while only those women who are the more avoidant types showed any real changes.
Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve conflict in a relationship. Psychology shows them to be, in this situation, the ones actively working to get the situation resolved. While they were showing increased levels of cortisol before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly. They showed that getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying.
Men, however, showed to be more passive in conflict resolution. While there was evidence that they, too, wanted the conflict to be resolved they weren't anxious to confront the conflict head on. Those men who had female partners who were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. Women showed no change in their levels of anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.
When you seek out relationship advice, whether you go to family therapy or psychologists, they are going to try to help you understand how men and women react differently. The above research on studying the effects of conflict in men and women will help you know why the react the way that they do in the relationship. Psychology and physiological research will help you deal with conflict better.
Wishing You The Best,
Jeanette Fitzgerald
Monday
How Can I Find Out If I'm in a Toxic Relationship
If you're wondering if you are in a toxic relationship, chances are that you probable are in such a relationship. Your hunch is probably right, but here are the clues that will help you identify your relationship, to see if you are living with a toxic person:
1. Your partner disrespects you (verbally) in front of other people.
2. Your partner might say that he loves you, but his actions tell you otherwise.
3. Your partner tries to make you dependent on him.
4. Your partner checks up on you, snooping around your personal stuff,reading your emails.
5. You constantly change yourself to please him.
Toxic people are so insecure that they project their insecurities on their partner. Those kind of people make you very uncomfortable just being around them. So you might ask why would anybody want to be in such a relationship? A relationship that makes you feel emotionally unstable.
When you first start dating he is very attentive and makes you feel like you are his queen and you could do no wrong. You really feel like you have found your soul mate, a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
As time wears on and he starts relaxing and being himself he starts to question every move you make. He gets jealous when you talk to another man, he constantly checks up on you and snoops around on your cell phone to see if you are talking to any man.
Once you realize what he is doing you start wondering if this man is actually someone that you want to live with. You try to find out where he is getting his insecurities from and after talking to him about it you find out the he came from a home that his parents were in a toxic relationship. So subconsciously he is repeating the cycle.
But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these relationships have low self esteem, they don't think that they deserve any better or suffer from depression.
Now you know that you have choices, now you need to stand up for yourself. Don't fall for that old line that it is all your fault, most toxic partners will try to make you feel like it's all your fault. Do yourself a favor and do not believe his lies, if you fall for all those lies it will be very difficult for you to walk away or to set new limits to heal your relationship.
The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. The truth is that most relationships are able to be repaired. Sometimes it takes a little time. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.
Learn more about how to get out of toxic relationships and start building a healthy relationship.
Good Luck,
Jeanette Fitzgerald
http://www.makinguptips.org
1. Your partner disrespects you (verbally) in front of other people.
2. Your partner might say that he loves you, but his actions tell you otherwise.
3. Your partner tries to make you dependent on him.
4. Your partner checks up on you, snooping around your personal stuff,reading your emails.
5. You constantly change yourself to please him.
Toxic people are so insecure that they project their insecurities on their partner. Those kind of people make you very uncomfortable just being around them. So you might ask why would anybody want to be in such a relationship? A relationship that makes you feel emotionally unstable.
When you first start dating he is very attentive and makes you feel like you are his queen and you could do no wrong. You really feel like you have found your soul mate, a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
As time wears on and he starts relaxing and being himself he starts to question every move you make. He gets jealous when you talk to another man, he constantly checks up on you and snoops around on your cell phone to see if you are talking to any man.
Once you realize what he is doing you start wondering if this man is actually someone that you want to live with. You try to find out where he is getting his insecurities from and after talking to him about it you find out the he came from a home that his parents were in a toxic relationship. So subconsciously he is repeating the cycle.
But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices. Often people who stay in these relationships have low self esteem, they don't think that they deserve any better or suffer from depression.
Now you know that you have choices, now you need to stand up for yourself. Don't fall for that old line that it is all your fault, most toxic partners will try to make you feel like it's all your fault. Do yourself a favor and do not believe his lies, if you fall for all those lies it will be very difficult for you to walk away or to set new limits to heal your relationship.
The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships. The truth is that most relationships are able to be repaired. Sometimes it takes a little time. Other times, it takes counseling. But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.
Learn more about how to get out of toxic relationships and start building a healthy relationship.
Good Luck,
Jeanette Fitzgerald
http://www.makinguptips.org
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